looking for a job

It’s been six years since I’ve been on the job market. Six years. Did I grow? Yeah, sure, but not as much as I’d like. In title, sure, but my mind felt idle. I cared about my job and I tried to be good at it, but I felt like there was more to give. I found the comfort zone, and I pulled up a lawn chair.

The job market feels different. I have experience now. There are job postings asking for five years of experience. I raise my eyebrows. Wow, I have five years of experience. Not that years of experience even matter. But nonetheless, it’s strange. Interviews still feel the same. I still get nervous. I still overprepare, and even when the interview goes extremely well from my point of view, I still replay the parts I thought I could’ve done better. I guess some things don’t change.

But I do have more confidence now. I know how to use STAR effectively. I know how to tease out a follow-up question that I know exactly how to answer. I actually use the time at the end to ask thoughtful questions. I’m experienced.

“It doesn’t make sense to continue wanting something if you’re not willing to do what it takes to get it. If you don’t want to live the lifestyle, then release yourself from the desire. To crave the result but not the process, is to guarantee disappointment.” - James Clear

There’s good and bad to being out of a job. I feel as if I’m resharpening my mind, the same mind that has felt idle for six years. Don’t get me wrong, I’m optimizing for job descriptions, so it isn’t always what I want to learn, but I’m not in the lawn chair anymore.

In between the shame I cast upon myself for not being employed, right underneath, just beneath the surface, there’s this excitement about the opportunities that await me. But there will be no opportunity without more work, and more work is exactly what I plan on doing.